WWJB {Where would Jesus Be?}

I was recently re-reading the story from Luke chapter 2 when Jesus was a child and he wandered away from his parents. They searched for 3 days and when they finally found him they were so very upset, but his response struck a chord with me this time around.


“Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” Luke 2:49

Mary and Joseph had been searching for Jesus for 3 whole days. As a mother I can imagine she searched everywhere she could think a little 12 year old mind might wander, looking for fun, looking for adventure, or anything that might spark the excitement of a little boy. Oh the trouble a little boy would be expected to get into when left to his own devices. I can imagine that even though she knew she was raising God's son, the temple is the last place she expected to find her little boy in a world full of temptation.

But I can't shake Jesus' response out of my head "Where else would you expect me to be?" He was saying, 'I am after all, THE son of God. Where else would I go but in my Father's house? In my Father's presence? There's no where else I'd rather be!'

That's my new standard. We live in a world full of excuses. It's high on stress and low on expectations, and motherhood is no exception. Society tells us it's okay to snap at our kids, lose our temper or get angry, as long as the good out weighs the bad. It's to be expected, right? After all, there is so much stress on today's mom with busy agenda's and jobs and husbands and sports, it's no wonder we bend until we break. Even though the world knows I am a Christian, I can't always react like a Christian, right? I am only human after all. And that's why Christianity is losing so much of it's power these days, because not only does the world not expect more out of us, but most of the time we don't even expect more out of ourselves. But God doesn't grade my heart on a curve. He doesn't compare me to the world around me, he compares me to God's own heart. For I abide in him, and he in me (John 15:4). Jesus is my standard. When the whold world tells me that not only is it okay, but it's to be expected to react to ________(insert stressful person or sitaution here)__________ in a less than Godly way, I want Jesus to be my standard. I want the world to wonder how I could react out of love in a hateful situation, and I want to be able to say "What else would you expect of me? Where else would you find my heart but in the presence of God? He is living in me and I in Him, I am a Jesus girl afterall".

Lord,
Help me remember that you have higher standards for me than the rest of the world. When life gets stressful, people get hateful, or times get tough, and my flesh fights to react, help me remember who I am. I am you; that 12 year old little boy that nobody expected to find in the temple. Nobody would have been surprised or stunned had you been off having fun with other boys your age, you were only a child and I'm sure there was temptation all around you, but there you were- in your father's house all along. Give me strength, grace, compassion and love and make the whold world wonder where it came from so I can point to you, and show them a heart thats hidden in her father's presence.
Amen

Easter Story Hunt

Something about the Easter Bunny is not sitting well with me this year. As a Christian, Easter is about as good as it gets, it's what it's all about. Vicotory. It's the promise we have, the hope we have, it's what we live for and what we die for. Victory. They tried to crucify and bury our savior but they could not keep him in the grave. Victory. And somehow, adding a big giant Easter bunny into that precious story just doesn't jive with me, and I don't want Easter to be just another Holiday full of fairy tales and candy and presents and toys. So this year my husband and I have decided that we weren't going to to the 'Easter Bunny basket this year', and since the boys have already had 3 egg hunts we don't' really feel the need to do another Easter Egg Hunt on Sunday afternoon. BUT, I still wanted to find a way to make Easter special & fun all while remembering and teaching them what Easter is about... So I decided to do an Easter story scavenger Hunt! I'm so excited to do this with the boys, and at the end they will get an Easter gift from their Daddy and me to celebrate.

Below you will find the story & clues I came up with in case you choose to use this idea as well. You will probably have to change some of the clues to fit your home & children, but this is a great start. I decided to post this as a blog not to push our convictions and decisions on you, but just as an idea of something you might want to add to the Easter traditions you already do, or in our case replace the old! However you choose to celebrate, I pray that you have a blessed Easter season and remember that there is ALWAYS victory with Jesus!

1.Matthew 26:14-16 The high priest wanted to arrest Jesus, but they didn’t know where to find him. So Judas asked “what will you give me if I tell you where Jesus is? So they counted out 30 silver coins to give him. And from that time on Judas watched for the right time to hand Jesus over to him.”

Your first clue is hiding in the place where you keep your money…

2. Matthew 26: 17-30. Jesus celebrated the Passover meal with his disciples. During the meal he told his disciples that he was about to be arrested. The disciples were sad but he assured him it was all a part of God’s plan. He took bread and broke it, and gave it to his disciples to eat saying ‘this is my body’ and gave them wine to drink saying ‘this is my blood which I pour out to forgive your sins”

The next clue is hiding at the place where we eat our meals….

3. Matthew 26:31 Roosters are known for crowing every morning to wake people up when the night is over. Jesus tells peter that before the rooster crows in the next morning, Peter will lie about knowing Jesus 3 times. Peter doesn’t believe him but Jesus says “What I am about to tell you is true, it will happen this very night. Before the rooster crows, you will say three times you don’t know me”

What wakes daddy up every morning? Look there and you will find your next clue…

4. Matthew 26:36-46 Jesus knows what is about to happen, so He goes into the garden and asks his disciples to stay awake with him while he prays, but he finds them sleeping instead. He tells them “couldn’t you stay awake for even an hour? Watch and pray. Then you don’t fall into sin when you are tempted. The spirit is willing but the body is weak.” Again he left them, and again he found them sleeping. And even a third time he left them and came back and found them sleeping! He said “are you STILL sleeping and resting? Look! The hour is near. I am about to be handed over to sinners. Get up! Let us go!”

New babies sleep a lot too… go to where your new baby will sleep and there you will find your next clue...

5. Matthew 26:47 Then Judas arrived with the high priest, and kissed Jesus, which was the sign of who to arrest. Jesus didn’t argue or fight when they arrested him, even though he had done nothing wrong.

Where do you go when you get in trouble? Look there and you will find your next clue…

6. Matthew 26:65 Jesus was taken in front of the high priest, who was in charge. The high priest did not like Jesus, so he tore his clothes.

Where do you put your dirty clothes? Look there and you will find your next clue…

7.Matthew 26:67 Then they spit on Jesus, slapped his face, they beat him and spat on him. They treated Jesus very badly and hurt him very badly.

Where do we keep our band aids and things for our cuts and scrapes? Look there and you will find your next clue…

8. Matthew 27:11-26
Jesus was taken in front of Pilot, who was a ruler at that time. They wanted to crucify Jesus but Pilot knew Jesus had done nothing wrong. Still, the people instisted. Pilot washed his hands with water to signify that he wanted to wash the guilt away from crucifying Jesus, and he gave Jesus over to the soldiers to cruficy.

Your next clue is hiding in the place where you go each night to wash yourselves clean…

9. Matthew 27:33 Before they nailed him to a cross they mixed wine with bitter spices and gave it to Jesus to drink…

Your next clue is hiding in the place where you keep your drinks…

10. Matthew 27:35 Then they nailed him to the cross for all to see.

Your next clue is hiding in the place where Daddy keeps his nails & tools…

11. Matthew 27:35 They divided up Jesus’s clothes by casting lots, sort of like rolling dice, to see who got to keep his clothes. They thought it was a game even though it was very sad.

Your next clue is hiding where we keep our games.

12. Matthew 27: 45-55 For that whole day, until 3:00, the whole land was covered in darkness. At 3:00 Jesus cried out in a loud voice “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabacthani? Which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” He cried out again, and then he breathed his last breath. At that moment the temple curtain was raised in 2 from top to bottom. Jesus mother and several other women that he followed Jesus were there, watching as Jesus died.

Mommy tries to follow Jesus too, by reading her Bible and spending time in prayer. Where does mommy keep her bible? There you will find your next clue.


13. Matthew 27:57-61 Then they went and buried Jesus’s body in a tomb, and covered the entrance with a big rock, and guards stood watch to make sure nobody would take Jesus’s body.

Your next clue is hiding in the place where you like to dig in the rocks!

14. Mathew 28 On the third day Mary and several others went to the tomb, but they found it empty! Jesus had fulfilled his promise and his body was no longer in the grave… he had risen again, just like he said he would. When you have Jesus in your heart your body may die but your spirit (your heart) never will. When your time here on earth is over you will go up to heaven and live there in that perfect place forever and ever!

You are Jesus boys too, and can get to know Jesus by reading your bible and praying. Now look in the place where you keep YOUR Bibles to find your Easter surprise!

Livin' on a Prayer

Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
Romans 8:34

God has given me a heart for mamas. Seriously, I love mamas. Most people think that having triplets I have no pity on other mother's and their stresses, but I do- I get it. Motherhood is overwhelming and stressful no matter if you have one child or 5- you just learn to grow with it, go with it, survive and thrive on this planet motherhood. I love to pray for mamas, cook meals for new mamas, and swap 'you wouldn't believe my day!' stories with other mamas. Over the past 5 years I have come to realize how much in need of encouragement we are, how we need to support one another, stop juding and criticizing and be open to everyones different styles and ways of mothering. And most importantly, we need to lift one another up in prayer. On those really defeated days, when I'm most in need of prayer, I'm always reminded that I'm not alone,I'm not the only mom in need of prayer. I wouldn't trade my defeated, overhwelming days for anything in the world because those are the days I spend the most time in prayer, both for myself and other mothers. Often I feel better just by shifting the focus off myself and praying for other moms that might need encouragement that day as well.

I've had several really stressful weeks the past few weeks, and last week I was feeling exceptionally overhwelemed. I desperately wanted prayer. And to top it off, I had that old friend-sin 'worry' nagging at the back of my mind, causing me to stress and feel anxious about something I have little control over. I had already asked several of my other 'sister friends' to pray for me, but that didn't seem like enough. I know there are several times I promise to pray for somebody and I forget, and I wanted these prayers bad, I needed to know someone was praying for me.

And then I rememered reading a post on facebook several months back and that was something along the lines of Jesus sitting at the right hand throne of God and he prays for you. That thought filled my head all day long- He prays for me!

So friend, if you're feeling desperate and in need of prayer, please reach out. But we are all human- there is only ONE person you can ask for prayer that will not fail you. Jesus will pray for you. You don't even have to know how or what to ask him to pray, he prays for you. He already knows your stress and worry ans anxiety, and he is waiting on you to lift your burden to him. He prays for you. I can't get that out of my head. I love my brothers and sisters in Christ and there is power in their prayers, but who better to have in your corner praying for you than Jesus himeslf, sitting there right beside our maker? Oh I hope that blesses you as much as it blesses me. How foolish we can be to hang on to our worries when He is up there just waiting for us to acknolwedge that He is in control. He is on our side. Cast ALL your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7.


I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours.
John 17:9

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
John 17:20-23

Find a Penny

Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:39

Have you ever taken a moment to just sit & really reflect on how much God loves you? It's easy to say that we grasp this concept, we've been singing "Jesus Loves Me" since we were in the church nursery, but do you really get it? Do you have a peaceful understanding deep down in your soul that no matter who you are, what you've done or what you don't do, God loves you? And when is the last time you sat and just thought about that? That the God who knows the deepest, darkest parts of your heart, your ugliest thoughts & your entire past- He is head over heels in love with you?

I've been doing a little Bible Study by Beth Moore called "Loving Well" and how we are called to love others not in our own strength, but out of the abundance of lavish, unconditional, unstoppable, overflowing of God's love that he pours on me. I love that thought; I am a princess who is lavishly, unconditionally spoiled by my father, the KING. He does not love me out of an unstable, inconstistant, ever-changing emotional love, the way our flesh loves others. He doesn't even love us to get anything in return. He loves us because that is who He is. God is love. And as a child of his who has accepted & acknowledged that rich overflowing of God's love I am to love others with that God-love that is just dripping & overflowing from me. Period. No exceptions, no excuses. God loves me because of who He is, not because of who I am. In light of that, I am called to love others not because of who they are, but because of who I am, a child of God.

It's one thing to sit and pray and talk 'at' God, but take a moment to just sit & meditate on how much you are loved. How constant, peacefully, completely,abundantly & lavishly you are loved. Go ahead, lay down while you are doing it so you really feel like you are resting in the love of your father, you know- the way a cat lies down & soaks up the sunshine. See if it doesn't make a difference in your day and in the way that you love others.

I have several friends who have this "God thing" going on. They have a certain 'sign' from God, and when they see these 'signs' or reminders, it's their own personal "I love You" or 'I'm here" from God. I thought this sounded wonderfully romantic, so I asked God to give me a 'thing' that was just for me and Him. The very next day I started finding pennies everywhere. I think I counted 5 in one day. It wasn't until I was 3 pennies into it that I realized God had given me my
'thing', and the words Find a penny pick it up, and all day long you'll feel God's love popped into my head. I have continued to find several more pennies over the days that have followed, and now my boys will bring me pennies they find and tell me "Here mom I found this, it is for you from Jesus!" What a wonderful, fun reminder that I am loved and he is always present, no matter if I 'feel' those truths or not. What an awesome thought that the God who created the universe will take time to be so personal & intimate with me.

Thank you for being more patient with me, the mess that I am, than I am with others. Help me to remember they deserve the same patience and love from me that you so extravagantly give to me. Thank you Lord, for taking the time to be personal and to answer little prayers, for being willing to remind me daily how big, how deep, how wide & how constant your love is for me, I want to get lost in that love with you, Lord. Thank you for reminding me at just the right moments in your own special way that my heart is spoken for.
Amen

5 Rules for a Happy Valentine's Day

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

I love this Holiday. Love, love, love it. What a great way to remember what being a Christian is all about; LOVE! Loving God, loving ourselves, and loving one another! I realize however, that many people find this holiday depressing, disappointing, or just plain silly. So, I've come up with 5 rules on how to find joy in this day!

1. Don't expect anything from your 'Valentine'.

"If I have the gifts of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and knoweldge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, it benefits me nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:2

I realized early on in my marriage that my husband is not a romantic. Over the years I've also come to terms with the fact that he's also not a mind reader, and if I don't want to be disappointed I simply need to lay my desires out on the table, and then still not expect those desire to be fully met. If he does, wonderful. If he doesn't, then at least I can find his effort to be cute. At first it was a bit disappointing, especially when I heard all these fabulous stories about romantic & creative gifts, and I was given the same generic cards-candy-flower for every holiday. But then I realized that that's just who he was. He wasn't doing it because he didn't love me as much as those romantic guys, he just doesn't even know how to express his love like that. But he does express his love to me everyday in his sense of humor, his security, his loyalty, his love, his patience, and his support of me. And those are the traits that will help you make it through the really, really trying times in your marriage anyways.

2. Accept the fact that he's only doing it because it's Valentine's Day.

"Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and truth."
1 John 3:18

I've heard many times that people don't like the idea of Valentine's day because they don't think that their love should be limited to expression only one day a year. Good for you, go ahead and surprise your lover with flowers & candy & sweet nothings on some random Tuesday for no reason at all. For all the rest of us, what's wrong with a reminder? Quite frankly, I need the reminder too. Our days get so busy & routine that it's nice to have a day to remind ourselves how much we love one another.

3. It's not just for romance.

"Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen." 1 John 4:20

I once read an article on another Mom blog about how Valentine's day has become so kid-centered. This mother was banning all things 'kid' related from the Holiday in order to solely focus on the romantic love she shared with her husband. I get it; you shouldn't be so focused on your children that you spend all your time, effort, & energy into making their day corny & sweet. But who says Valentine's Day has to be a romantic holiday? As a Christian, I've come to realize that it's not so much a Holiday between me and my husband, as it is a holiday re-evaluate the way that I'm loving everyone around me. I love spending the day doing all things corny & heart shaped, and talking about God's love with my children, how we can show love to other's, how much I love them, how much God loves them, how much I love God, how much God wants us to love others. And then I love putting those kids to bed early to have a quiet special dinner with my husband. What a perfect Holiday to remember the most important part of being a Christian!

4. Propose to Jesus

" He answered:'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Luke 10:27

Okay, okay, this one sounds really corny I know. But over and over again I have heard the same advice on having a successful relationship; 'invite Christ to be in the center of your marriage'. So true. But to me this sort of implies a joint decision between husband and wife. But what about those times when you don't feel like your husband is responding like a 'Christian'? I mean, I married a human. He married one too. We're going to disappoint each other, we're not always going to have a loving, Godly reaction to one another. I've learned in those times that putting Christ in the center of my marriage is not a decision my husband and I have to make together, but instead it is a personal decision that God expects of me. No matter what others are doing around me I must remember that my heart is spoken for, it is bound to God. I have to trust that God will work on my husbands heart in our marriage, and I need to keep my focus on my relationship with God. I need to know that my marriage with Christ is the one that will leave me satisfied and that no other relationship will ever feel complete if I can't first be satisfied with having only Jesus. I can't expect my spouse or family or friends to fulfill those deep desires that God intended for Him and Him only to fill. Don't get me wrong, he desires us to be in a marriage that is a loving union between two people so that they can best support, encourage & help one another grow & serve Him. But, that starts with me having a heart that is head over heels in love with God.

6. Celebrate all year long.

"Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." 1 John 13:35

Love is the most important commandment he gives us. It's in the Bible over a dozen times. Love God, love one another. Valentine's Day should only be a reminder of how we are to act all year long.

Weighting on God

We have survived the first month of 2012 already, where did January go? Better question; how are you doing on your New Year's resolutions?

As I posted a while back, my one and only New Year's resolution is to allow more of God and less of me, in any and every area of my life, and that includes my health. Every single New Year's, for as long as I can remember, my New Year's resolution has been to lose weight. I'm crying for my Middle school self as I type that, because I have had a life-long struggle with my weight. I was a chubby little girl who thinned out enough to fit in as I got older, but I have been on a 30lb roller coaster since high school that left me feeling so very defeated.

And then, almost one year ago I began a food journey with God. My women's Bible study group began a study called "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkeurst. This is a must-read for anybody that has ever struggled with food. I went into the study somewhat reluctantly. I didn't really think I had 'issues' that surrounded my weight, meaning there wasn't any deep-rooted sadness or hole I was trying to fill. I simply LOVED food, ate too much of it, and it showed a little. I married a man that loves food as much as I do, which is a dangerous combination. I remember the first time we saw a commercial for the mini blizzard and we both looked at each other at the same time and said "Well THAT is stupid! Who in the world wants a smaller Blizzard?!" I was a self-admitted foodie, but I didn't really feel the need to do a Bible study about it, but I loved the group of women so I signed up.

The first session in, I was hooked. I felt like God had brought that study to our church just for me. I realized that night that God wanted 100% of me, and that included my food. You see, 90% of the time I made healthy choices, ate healthy foods, and exercised. But 10% of the time I was out of control. I couldn't stop at just one brownie, or two, or even three. I rarely kept sweets in the house because I would literally eat half the pan, and then throw the other half away just to stop myself. Most of you probably never would have guessed by looking at me that I struggled with food, probably because I was able to exercise enough to keep a healthy weight. But I knew deep down that I was just one injury away from weighing 200 lbs. I knew that if anything ever prevented me from running 6 miles a day my secret would be out. And yes, I am embarrassed to say that, but it's where I was at. And that's the 10% of me that God so desperately wanted. Not because He wanted me to be thin & beautiful and healthy (although he does desire us to be healthy), but mainly because He didn't want me to be controlled by anything other than Him, and he certainly didn't want me to feel defeated about anything. One of my favorite verses I learned during the study is one that I still keep in my kitchen today:

"Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food." Romans 14:20

Now I know, this is taken somewhat out of context. In the text they are referring to respecting other's convictions & not causing one another to sin. But still, I can't help but feel like God gave that verse to me. He doesn't want food to be a stumbling block for us, period. He doesn't want anything to be a stumbling block. He made me perfect & beautiful and that's the way He saw me, and he wanted me to feel that way as well.

There was a study guide that we completed along with reading Lysa's book, and many of the questions asked things like how I felt about my weight, or about my ability to control my eating, or how I felt after I over-ate. I went back and re-read the Study guide after I completed it and I couldn't believe the words I chose. They were things like "out of control, guilty, defeated, fat, ugly..." Wow. Those are most definitely not the way that Jesus wants us to feel. You see, he not only offers us victory from death (Heaven) but he offers us victory from our flesh. He wants us to taste victory before we get to heaven, victory from our earthly desires & sins, and for me that means victory from food.

Many of you are reading this and thinking "I don't get it, how is food so bad? God gave us food, isn't food good?" Yes, of course it is. But remember, God never intended our food to be over-processed, deep fried & sugar coated, and those kinds of food choices are nothing short of addictive & deadly. And, as Lysa points out, anything is a sin if you love it more than God, and this girl loved her food. It may not be food for you- it might be shopping, clothing, sex, drugs, alcohol, anything that has the ability to consume or control you. But for me, and I think a lot of women, it's food. Still not convinced that food can be a big deal to God? Consider this; self-control is one of the fruits of the spirit, and time and time again in the Bible he calls us to be self-controlled and submissive to the Holy Spirit. "Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert." (1 Peter 5:7-8)

We started the bible study right before Easter, during the Lent season, and I have always loved the idea of fasting from something during Lent to prepare your heart for the resurrection of our King. During this study I gave up 2 things; sweets & my scale. Now, you're probably thinking- your scale? Nice one, that must have been really easy for you. But for me, it was the ultimate act of submission to God. It was me showing him that my weight was not important. What was important was that I found a way to co-exist with food peacefully; by using His power to overcome my temptations & make healthy food choices. You see, I'm a numbers girl, no matter how my pants fit or feel, if the number on the scale doesn't say what I want it to say, I'm not happy. And I weighed myself at least 3 times a day, anytime I was in the bathroom I stepped on the scale. So for me, it was huge to give that up. And you know what? Not being able to 'control' myself by seeing that number several times a day actually caused me to lose weight. I lost 13 lbs. throughout the 6 or 8 week study. But what I gained was a sense of control. I learned that even though I wasn't bigger than that pan of brownies, God was. I learned that it was a sin to over-eat the way I wanted to, and that I needed to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide me in making healthier choices. Many times I still want to eat a handful of crackers (okay, maybe 2 handfuls) for a snack but I remember that anytime you feel prompted by the Holy spirit about anything and you don't listen, it's a sin. It was like I could see God reaching down at me with an apple saying 'Look what I made! Eat this- not that! I made this, this beautiful perfect apple for you!" That sounds corny, but it's the way I look at healthy 'whole' foods now; it's food the way God intended for us to eat it, because it's what's best for us. And He always wants what's best for us. And I want to give my best to Him. I want to treat my body as a a temple, I want my kitchen to be my sanctuary to God.

I'm not going to go into the details of the book because I strongly urge you to read it for yourself. And I realize this is an extremely odd time in my life to be blogging about my weight, as I sit here 6 months pregnant and watching my weight climb a little every week. But for me, it's perfect timing. Through recent events in my life my eyes have been opened even more to the hopelessness & desperation that surrounds me in this world. I felt Jesus saying "step it up sister! Be a light, walk the walk!" It was just the encouragement that I needed. How could I be so bold as to confess to know a God that is bigger than addictions, drugs, alcohol & depression, but wasn't big enough to help me put down that bag of Peanut Butter M&M's? He is, and he has called me to be a Jesus girl that can stand up & prove it. And personally, I am watching my body change & get bigger and have absolutely no control over it. I can't even exercise the way I want because my doctor has me on low-impact only for medical reasons. And I have to embrace it. To realize that the number on the scale is NOT what is important. It's about not being controlled by food, period. Whether that means I gain 20 lbs or 40lbs this pregnancy, as long as I can look in the mirror and see a woman who is at peace with food, then I win. As long as I don't feel the need to weigh myself 10 times a day, and obsess about my size, then I win. As long as I don't feel controlled by food and overwhelmed with temptation from it, I win. "

So, here I am one year into my food-journey with God. I wish I could say I've officially stepped off the roller coaster and walked victoriously for the past year, but there is a reason it took me an entire year to write this blog. Because I've failed, I've fallen, I've struggled with temptation & still do. And I've realized I probably always will. It's not like drugs or alcohol, I can't just leave food at the grocery store and walk away, and no matter how many times I pray for him to take away my sweet tooth- it's still there. Food is everywhere. But I'm learning that everyday is a new day. Everyday is a new opportunity to show my love for God by my surrender with food. And I may not be exactly where I want to be in this journey with food, but I'm so much closer than where I started. . My pastor said something a few months back that I've kept with me always, as a reminder to never stop fighting for my victory with food "Sometimes we don't have the victory because we aren't willing to fight the battle." So many times we feel powerless because we don't want to fight for our victory. We want God to just defeat our giants & hand the victory to us. But he would much rather give us His power, and fight through us. Let him be your strength. I pray that if you are reading this in the middle of your own struggle with food & weight, that you make the decision to allow Jesus to guide you on your journey. I pray that you realize that you were made for more than a life long struggle with food, and you serve a God who cares about every aspect of your life and desires you to know that vicotry is sweeter than any chocolate covered lie.

My Promise Land

In the past year or so I have been evolving my parenting approach. As I've confessed in earlier blogs I so desperately wanted to be the mom that said 'Jump!' and my kids instantly responded 'Yes, ma'am! How high?!" No whining, complaining, screaming or arguing, just instant obedience. Bliss. But my kids are not so fond of 'instant obedience' and (my strong-willed children especially) tested this mama to the max. I was frazzled, frustrated & defeated in my parenting. So I switched gears and tried a more loving & gentle approach to parenting (aside from those times when they are directly disobeying or being disrespectful to me or another grown up, we rarely spank anymore). They do get sent to their room a lot or get toys or privileges taken away, but let's just say I've lowered my expectations without lowering my standards (they are 3 rowdy 5 year olds after all). I still discipline and guide & speak truth & love into them about how we are to act & treat people, I just sort of allow them a little more wiggle room for their well, wiggles & antics for the sake of my sanity. In essence, I've just come to terms with the fact that it may be better for me to 'under discipline' while keeping my cool & showing them love & patience than to 'over discipline' out of anger & my temper.

And guess what? The bewildering thing is that their behaviors haven't really changed one bit. Not on stinkin' bit. You would think that we would have this great revelation in their behavior - especially since a whole year has passed & they have gotten a whole year older & more mature, right?!. Wrong. I feel like I've had more of those "My kids just earned me a BIG ol' jewel on my crown in Heaven today!" days than ever before recently.

And so I've found myself questioning my parenting yet again. I confessed to my sister recently that "I must just not be good at this whole effective discipline thing".

And then just a few days ago I found myself reading the book of Joshua during my quiet time. If you've never read it, you should. For those of you who aren't familiar with the Bible, Moses had led the Israelites out of slavery from the Egyptians & He was supposed to lead them into their Promise Land. However, even after God had done miraculous things in helping them escape (parting of the Red Sea, providing Manna in the dessert for them to eat every day), They still grumbled & complained & questioned God saying it would be better to be back in slavery than wandering around in the dessert. So, what does God do? He tells them that they will never be allowed to set foot in the Promise Land, but they will die in the desert and their children will inherit the land.
Fast forward 40 years when Moses dies, and God chooses Joshua to lead the Israelites into the Promise Land (Jericho). Problem is, it's occupied already. God tells the Israelites to march around the walls of the city of Jericho, and on the 7th day they were to sound their trumpets, shout & yell & the walls would collapse and the Israelites would be able to claim Jericho as their city, their Promise Land flowing with milk & honey.

Cool story, right? It didn't really occurred to me that this might apply to motherhood until my neighbor asked me to print out a worksheet she needed for her home schooling since her printer was broken, and what do you suppose their lesson was about? You guessed it- Joshua. I thought maybe God was trying to speak to me through this story so I went back & read it again.

I realized God was calling me to march around my Promise Land. His tactics might not make sense, my efforts my not be fruitful the first, or second, or even the third time around, but keep marching. It's okay to feel like I don't really know what I'm doing, just keep marching, keep doing those tings that I do know how to do, doing what I am called to do. Keep modeling the fruits of the spirit he equips us with- love, joy, peace, patients, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness & self control. Do not be discouraged. Do not be dismayed. Do not look to the right or the left, do not question God, grumble or complain. I realized that while my children's behavior & attitude hasn't really changed, mine has. And that's the only behavior I can really control anyways. All I can do is model what a heart that loves Jesus looks like, and pray like crazy that God will capture their hearts as well, and give them hearts that long to please him and serve him as well.

And so there it is, that is my Promise Land. A deliverance from God in my motherhood. Deliverence from defeat, deliverence from anger, deliverance from inadequate feelings, deliverance from my kids ability to determine my behavior. So keep marching on mama's! Keep loving, praying, & teaching our children to seek his face. Keep looking to him for guidance and direction when you feel discouraged. Have faith that He knows what he's doing, even when we do not, and that He will finish what he has started.